Garden Healing Church

Grateful for Healing in Nature – for all of us mind control subjects

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Sunday Listening Service

Greetings ~

You are invited to join me this and each and every Sunday morning, bright and early (exact time and location not necessary) in a listening service.

Alone or with others, preferably in a place in Nature, meditate on anything you choose, a problem, a teaching, then try to listen to the wisest voice you might hear.

If you’ve not used to being still, experiment, making the goal to shift your mind to receptivity, listening.

Keep paper and pencil nearby for brief notes if that’s your style.

Seek compassion, and hope.

After an hour, write down anything more you would like to record, and Service is over. Share your insights with others if you choose.

Thanks for being part of the Garden Healing Church

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Pastor’s Update – in Service

Hi All,

When I finished my tour of the western United States last fall, a journey for direction, I set my intentions to be of Service wherever I traveled next .  And I also decided to forego such long distances in the future and to keep my journeys narrowed radically to solely the Sonoran Desert (southern Arizona).

(Since I began this site, I’ve become a full-time RVer, no longer owning a home, but living simply in a small travel trailer and now a camper.)

My first service work…

…(late September – early October) was a week spent with my old best friend from grade school and high school, helping her move (we’re both 65).  It was a good week, with a lot of physical labor and strategic planning, and everything proceeded as planned.

Interrupted (to jump back to Service, scroll below to the next heading)

On my way there, and on October 7, on my way back to my storage lockers, I experienced something I’d never experienced before in all my previous 7,000 miles (including steep Colorado mountains) – my trailer fishtailed lightly – twice – on flat land!  Both times I thought, “I’ll have to take the trailer back to the mechanic who repacked my wheel bearings.”

Then, forty miles from home, my trailer began fishtailing wildly on a downhill grade, and my skills at pulling out of fishtails (only needed twice in all my Colorado driving, and done easily) could not pull me out of that event.  The trailer spun my truck around and then tipped over, pulling over the truck too, and me in it, of course.  Both vehicles were totaled, and I walked away with a concussion and messed-up spine which disabled me in various ways for months.

truck crash cropped.jpg

For those who might not understand fishtailing, it happens going downhill, when a trailer is heavier than the tow vehicle.  That I was on flat land made absolutely no sense, so I tried to generate ideas for what might be going on, and wondered whether the wheel bearing work I’d just had done had been the cause.  So, I hired a mechanic whose life career has been investigating highway accidents – and he found the trailer wheels spinning freely, eliminating that first theory.  He did, however, find something he said he’d never seen before.

But let me back up.  Regarding the vehicles’ weights, I’d just had the truck and trailer professionally weighed, and my truck was significantly heavier than the trailer, as is proper.  So the usual cause of fishtailing made no sense.

The mechanic’s discovery was something so confounding that he spent two and a half additional hours asking me questions, studying his photos, sending me his photos, and brainstorming with me what might have caused what he said was “something I’ve never seen in my entire career, and I can’t imagine how it even occurred.”  The outer rim of my wheel, that helps hold the tire in place, was bent backward all the way around the wheel.

I’ll spare you the details of our conversation, as we reached no conclusion that made sense to either of us, but I’d like to share an incident that occurred 6 weeks earlier.

On August 21, during the Total Solar Eclipse, I was on a mountain side with my truck parked down below, mostly hidden from my view by a large bushy tree.  At almost the exact moment of the eclipse totality, a truck pulled up behind my truck about ten feet away, and I heard a woman’s voice calling loudly, “Yoohoo!  Yoohoo!  Are you there?”  I remained silent.  She repeated her calls and I remained silent.  (I’ve been so often harassed for the last 15 years, I seem to be a “targeted individual,” and the people harassing me seem to have an interest in the dark occult, so this moment of the New Moon/Eclipse is significant.)

Then what appeared to be a woman dressed in an old-fashioned full-length dress began walking laboriously from the visiting truck toward my truck.  “She” seemed to be dragging a very heavy boot, as if it weighed 40 pounds, and I thought immediately that it was probably a man dressed in a skirt to hide some heavy tool balanced on his foot.  That’s what it looked like to me, as the person heaved one foot again and again across the short distance.

“Get away from my truck!” I called loudly, but the person kept looking straight ahead and didn’t acknowledge me.  When that person had disappeared behind the bushy tree, the woman’s voice, from who knows where, called up again, “We’re heading to the store and want to meet our camp neighbors.  Do you want anything from the store?”  I responded again, yelling, “Get away from my truck.”

The person in the dress stayed hidden for about ten minutes, while I considered my options.  I could get off the mountain quite easily and run over there in a minute or two, but then what?  They were obviously lying and up to something, and if I confronted them, how would they act?

I’ve been a conscious and resistant subject of mind control for many years now, logging hundreds of weird events in my life with evidence including doctor visits, police reports, photographs, witnesses, etc.  My harassment has been extremely varied, and while some of it is clearly related to programming (involving implants, leaving electroshock burns, etc), but much has been of a simple social harassment type.  This event, I assumed, was probably putting some sort of tracking device on my truck – or so I told myself, fully knowing that tracking devices can be easily attached and not need heavy tools – but theories, even bad ones, can be comforting.  Also, I didn’t want to leave the moment of the eclipse totality, and was angry that I’d been harassed at this special moment.  I also wondered what they might do to me if I did confront them personally.  Would they hurt me?  Taser me?  Make me amnesic?  I’ve been Tasered at least three times in my life (for which I have photographic proof).  I decided to sit still.

After the person had walked back in the same manner, and the truck had driven away, I decided my long-awaited day had been ruined and I returned to my vehicle.  I made a cursory, useless glance under the truck, thinking, if I find something, then what?  Remove it only to have them replace it again?  I knew I was tracked and harassed regularly, and there seemed to be nothing I could do about it.  And a tracker seemed totally redundant, so I forgot about it.  My mistake, I guess.

I drove around the entire campground and found not a single camp they might have left, so their story was an obvious lie.

Six weeks later, the day of the crash, two truckers were nearby and came immediately to my help.  One of them I saw spraying fire retardant on the bottom of my truck – which I think may have only been a ruse for being there – and also reaching out and touching other things underneath.

The electrical mechanism that controls the trailer’s brake is what might have been used to control a fishtail event, even on flat land – if the wires to each side of the trailer can be controlled independently.  Were those two events on flat land (truly flat – between Phoenix and Tucson each time) trial runs for the crash?  And having been tested successfully twice, someone then remote controlled my electronic trailer brakes (attached to the truck) to cause the trailer to fishtail so wildly?  And that trucker might have been involved and had the job of removing evidence (without a big heavy tool)?  I don’t know.

That’s my best theory at this time.  And no one else including the mechanic who spent his life investigating highway accidents, can come up with any better theory.

The last six months have been spent healing from my injuries, mostly from my concussion or “mild traumatic brain injury.”  (Mild traumatic?  Yes, that’s the real diagnosis.)  I could feel my brain swelling whenever I moved, so recovery was difficult, living alone, and in a new location with few friends.  But I did it.  And I bought a new/old truck and new/old camper, both older, and more decrepit than my last set-up, and the camper is far smaller.  And I like the smaller size living space, and think I can keep this “till I die.”

My insurance company (Liberty Mutual) has been torturing me with nonsensical reasons for not covering my losses, but that’s another story.  Thank Goodness for my family’s assistance.  (I live on $621/month Social Security.)

Now I’m back to my original goal:  to be of Service – Service with a capital S, for Service directed by Spirit.

Currently, I’m caring for the daughter of a former partner, whom I lived with 12 years ago.  She is a brilliant young woman, once watched by numerous colleges for her athletic abilities, now in recovery from five years of addiction and living on the street.

Believe it or not, she was living with me in my tiny camper for a couple weeks since April 21st – though she finally regained possession of her car and in a few short days was able to make it into a space to sleep in!  So it’s been over 2 weeks that we’ve found ways to make my little camper comfortable for two, and we both still cook and eat here – and are still happily getting along, experiencing amazing changes in my young friend’s life.

Her addictions are fading away, thanks to healthy food and living in nature.

It’s a testimony to Spirit that she’s doing so well in close quarters, and we’re actually enjoying our time together.  I believe she’s in full recovery.  She says this time with me has been the first time in over five years that she’s gone so long without any panic attacks – and she’s “clean”!  We’re both super grateful.

In the near future we’ll get her established away from the drug world, for which we’re working out the fine details now.

Our “Sunday service” last morning wason Mount Lemmon above Tucson.  I’ll keep you all apprised – as much as possible while respecting my lovely friend’s privacy.


PS  If the mind control harassment story makes you think you don’t belong here, please reconsider.

I DO hope that mind control subjects will find help and support here, but I also hope that others will also find the legal support they need here to defend their religious liberties regarding their health – and in so doing, also support those of us who are dealing with other, more insidious challenges.  We need all the uplifting we can get!  Thanks.








Garden Healing Church – for your health care freedoms

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for following the Garden Healing Church website – and apologies for not being more active here (personal challenges prohibited).

Readers, will you tell me why YOU are following this site? What can this church do for you? What spiritual protections are you most interested in?

The US government, according to the IRS, defines a church as an organization devoted to the spiritual needs of a congregation – which includes “regular” services open to all.  To meet this requirement, as you can find on this site, “services,” silent meditations similar to Quaker meetings, are at 10 am (MT) on Sunday mornings in varying natural places. I will begin posting those locations for those who’d like to join us.


For those unable to join in person, you’re welcome to join us in meditation wherever you are. If there is a demand, we may begin silent services over the Internet, which would involve a welcome, video of the natural location, and a conclusion. Additional silent services may be held anytime, anywhere by any of us, including you, and you are encouraged to comment with your location and times if you’d like.

To solidify the value of your church membership in legally protecting your religious/spiritual rights regarding your health care, I recommend you establish your membership now – which is free and private. The link to membership is here:



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FREE Sacred Plant Webinar

Hello Friends,

cannabis_the_future_of_medicinePlease join me in listening to this free webinar about the healing potentials of this sacred plant – which should be easily available to us all:

  • one presentation each day for seven days, with each presentation available for 24 hours.

I’ve participated in this sort of educational experience many times in the last years, and find this a very generous offering – always TOP-quality researchers and presenters, which I can attend for free, on my schedule, even while doing other things.

I hope you enjoy this as well.  And please share your thoughts about it in comments below.

I’ll be listening – I hope and assume – from a forest location….  Talk with you soon.

Love and healing to us all ~


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Excellent New Video on MKULTRA

There is so much healing in bringing secrets into the light.

Screen Shot 2017-01-07 at 10.19.59 PM.png

Well-written, well-delivered, with powerful visuals, without hyperbole or excess drama, documented, historical, contemporary, comprehensive in scope, covering efficiently all that can be covered in an hour, and covering it fairly, as far as I can say, as one who is a subject.

Total Mind Control, a new documentary, by Jay Myers

I’m so gratified to see the secret drama of my life brought into the light.  So gratified.

Please watch and share.


It’s the time of the Revealing….


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Healing vs Computer Energy

Greetings to Everyone following the Garden Healing Church (aka MK Healing Church) ~

I want to acknowledge that I have not posted on this site as I expected I would.

therapyInstead, I’ve realized that my wounded parts (whom I’d prefer keep their writing on instead) are the ones who most like to write; my healthier, happier parts engaged in healing work are not that interested in sitting at the keyboard!

But that leaves me not fulfilling what Good I think I can do given my situation.  I don’t want to only post about my fearful and exasperating experiences; I want to also post about healing.  But when life is going well, I am not interested in sitting in front of the computer.  The computer feels like something to avoid.

10e503bd-f7b6-43c4-a748-71974c54d4e2The result is that I have an online presence that is mostly fearful, irritated, angry, and ready to leave this life.  My “garden presence,” on the other hand, is happy.  But she’s completely uninterested in sitting at the keyboard – unless I tell myself for months that I must create some balance, and then I sit down as I am now and make myself write.

But now that I’m here, I don’t know what to say.  Except maybe this:  the computer, energetically, is not a good place to find healing.  You can find information and, if you’re lucky, hints about coping and healing.  But it’s not, over all, a good place to spend our lives or search for health.  I’m trying to spend less and less time here.

I am also tired of trying to relate to imaginary people around the globe.  I think it’s best for all of us to work, instead, to relate to the real-life people around us in our communities – which is where I hope to spend more of my time and where I hope to offer my knowledge to others – face to face.

imageIf you know me locally, please ask me what I have to share – or specific questions.  If you don’t know me locally, then I hope you will seek out healing connections in your local community.  Connections with people, and with plants, and animals, and stars, and of course your cosmic Helpers.

For these few minutes I can stand to be at this keyboard, that’s the best advice I can give.  Live locally.

And when you do sit down at the computer to search for help (I still do now and then), I hope you’ll find useful items here or on

You can also ask for specific help too, of course, and I’ll do my best to respond.  Peace.

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Moon Week Calendar – Mind Healing?

Almanac with celtic cross envisioned by Jean, drawn by Asante Riverwind

Hey Ya’ll,

I should have reminded you sooner, but I’ve been pushing myself with too much, and this one nearly slipped by:



I’ve written in the past about the Gregorian Calendar being a fundamental part of our mind control, separating us from nature, as well as instilling the imbalance of 5-2, 5-2, 5-2 (weighted heavily to work and against freedom), into our psyches.  The moon used to encourage a much slower flowing of energies:  14/15…14/15…14/15…14/15.  Slower, and with pulsing balance.

Back in 2003, I published my first Almanac Datebook Journal, which got awesome responses from around the country, even though I only sold it in southern Arizona.  And I sold them out for two years running.  And people said they wanted to make local versions in their state, and I said Great!  And others asked when I was going to produce the next one or told me I had to take it national.  I wanted to keep it local – and I didn’t have the energy to produce another one till ten years later!

Jean & AlmanacAll four I’ve actually thrown together in a month or two, knowing every time I should have started sooner – so there is plenty of room for design improvements.

And recently I’ve realized:  Of course!  It should be a collective effort!

But I’m a hermit.  And I get overwhelmed by too much input too easily.  So my brain didn’t go there.  (There’s already a lot going on in this brain of mine.)

So I realized I should put it out to the community and see if anyone wants to help polish the design and produce the next one.  I look forward to hearing from you if you do.

Almanac with celtic cross envisioned by Jean, drawn by Asante Riverwind

Second:  Last year’s calendar included a template and instructions for producing perpetual calendars!  So no one has to do any designing except for their very own!  Maybe if a number of women and men make their own and then contemplate improvements throughout the year, we can put together a really nice product next year!

As soon as I can, I’ll upload the perpetual calendar pages and instructions to the Almanac site.  Just drag the pages to your desktop, and print!

Even if you have another calendar already.  It could be healing, or at least interesting, to work with both and see how we feel.


(I should have written about this a month or two ago!  I’m bummed I’ve been taking on too much at times.

(I’m addressing that now, and I wrote about in my last blog on



Oh, yeah, some might wonder why we need anything other than We’Moon.  I like We’Moon a lot, but I want to see and feel my moon weeks before my eyes, rather than have them wrap around the stable Gregorian weeks.  So my Almanacs have the Gregorian weeks wrap around the stable moon weeks, and each two-page spread works its way toward the next moon phase – new, waxing half, full, or waning half.   It’s very satisfying.  I also need more space for notes – I’ve used the calendar for notes on gardening, native harvesting, astronomy,  people’s history, local events, addresses and phone numbers, movies people tell me I should see, music I should hear, so I designed it to be half journaling pages.  Finally, because it’s simple black and white, it can be produced very easily, ecologically, and economically in a few formats:  large, small, spiral bound, notebook style, etc.  ;}

Also, I only realized as I was almost ready to print that there is no reason to exclude male artists, so I added “and men” up above.  I’ve just been sensitized about this recently, as I wrote about in an essay I’ll post soon on, “Friday Foundation:  On violence, past lives, womb wounds, and what it means.”

The most important part of these Almanacs is seeing the cycles of your life in a frame of the cycles of the moon.  It feels just… so… good.

Blessed day and night to you ~


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I Quit! (Doesn’t that feel good?!)

“Too many inspirations” has long been my excuse, as well as my pride, but a couple of months ago, I said, “I quit!” and I really, truly did quit quite a few things:
~ I quit my home and yard design business.
~ I quit singing.
~ I hardly planted anything in the garden.
~ And more I’ll spare you.

What I decided to do was two things:  1) Pay primary attention to healing – figuring out how to monitor my wandering, easily-distractable mind, meditate, pay attention to the communications of my alters and their healing status, stay focused on my “big questions,” track my progress, etc. – and 2) write about it.  That’s all I would do, besides the necessary mundane work.

I was due to get my first Social Security check, and Greg was willing to take up the slack while I practiced this discipline for some unknown length of time – Thank you, Greg!

So I’ve been monitoring, listening, focusing and tracking since early August – applying effective business skills to my head – and writing about it in my various blogs.  (Details here.)

And exciting things are happening!  I’m noticing phenomenal changes in my ability to track my own ideas more coherently, also feeling more calm, alert, and present – a powerful experience for me.

And just what I’d hoped for.

But there was a surprise too:  Singing, which I’d always felt was the least of my talents is the one thing that has come back to me.

After six weeks of leaving the house when Greg and other musicians would get together, he drew me back for a single song, and then “just a few,” and then one night he led the band in a whole series of my favorite songs, and I just couldn’t leave.  And here’s the surprise:  I liked my voice.  It had changed.

That, plus the fact that so many people challenged my decision and told me they wanted to keep hearing our harmonies gave me permission to accept singing back into my life.

As they say, “If you let it go and if it returns, it’s yours.”

So:  I accept.  Gratefully.  And I enjoy it so much more now that I’ve discovered my voice is new.

lying here video stillA few days ago (Oct 3), Greg and I were singing and I spontaneously suggested we go into the office and record one of our co-written originals, “Lying Here with You,” with the minimalist PhotoBooth software on the Mac.  Not fancy recording equipment by a long shot – but, wouldn’t you know, it was heart-felt, and got heart-warming responses on Greg’s website and Facebook page.

So I invite you to take a listen.  It’s sensuous and sweet.

Maybe we should all just quit things now and then.  And see what comes back. snapshotOne more thing I was hoping for, but not too hopefully:  teaching Greg to do more of his marketing!  But that came back to me too!  I spent all day Sunday – 15 hours! – happily updating it – and it wasn’t work – it was artwork, and very satisfying.  (Greg kept me fed, and responded to my every need while I worked.)  Here’s the new design.   

I pray all our activities are exactly what we should be doing, and if we have any doubts that we have the Courage to Quit – at least for a while, to see what returns.

Many happy returns!

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Limits to Cannabis Consumption

Lest I be thought a naive advocate of cannabis for any purpose (because I’ve reposted a few good articles I’ve found), I’d like to share two thoughts on limits, one my own limits, and a post by the Marijuana Policy Project (MPP) –

Recently, because I’m healing (or attempting to heal) from MKULTRA  mind control, I designed a notebook/journal specifically for my needs, including daily check sheets in which I track numerous small things that I typically lose track of:  how much sleep I get, my dreams, how I feel from day to day, whether I remember my supplements, and much more, including ideas I think are break-throughs, which I also typically “forget” or am controlled to forget – who knows, unless I get more serious about working to track them!  (I’ve described the notebook/journal and its use more completely on my ParadigmSalon site:

One of the items I track is when and how often I use cannabis.  I have a highly sensitive system and believe cannabis (at least much of what’s locally available) is detrimental to my logical, rational mind’s functioning; therefore, I do not use it when driving, socializing, or doing daily chores.  I do find, though, that it is excellent medicine for solving problems, for instance, in meditation and in writing, so I limit my use to those times or similar times when a “wandering,” relaxed mind is useful.  And I have committed to writing in my journal every single time I have a hit.  That way I know how well I’m sticking to my commitment, and the tracking practice is a good inhibitor, making me as responsible as I think I should be.

Recently, when Colorado legalized marijuana, a reporter made the news when she overindulged in a pot brownie.  The Marijuana Policy Project ( today posted a blog that links to a site called “Consume Responsibly” (  There is a lot of good information there, and I hope folks will check it out and pass it on.


No longer a shamanic practitioner

imagesI mean no disrespect to shamanic practitioners, but I have just become aware of how unproductive, and maybe spiritually vulnerable, that attempted practice has been for me.  Yesterday, I stood at my alter, before an overwhelming clutter of totems of various animals that have played a significant role in my life, many totems of some of them, and felt a cacophony of guilt in my head for not being more disciplined about staying in connection with each of them, as is supposedly my responsibility if I want to accept their gifts.  But I have failed in that responsibility again and again.

Yeshiva - (I meant to write, and thought I wrote "Yeshua," but I wrote this interesting derivation!  Wonder where that came from….

Yeshiva – (I meant to write, and thought I wrote “Yeshua,” but I wrote this interesting derivation! Wonder where that came from….

And I had tremendous guilt about not acknowledging Yeshua more, whom I consider my spiritual leader, my tribal chief – but I hate the images of him painted in our culture by obnoxious evangelists and corrupt doctrine-writers, so unlike my image of him as the counter-culture, anti-materialist, love and peace prophet.  And since the foundation of my programming was done in churches with all that other religious iconography and his “name” – JEEZ-suz – being used (American South rendering of the Greek translation of his Hebrew name).  (And I’ll save for later the story of how a “Christian” church helped my abusive husband take my kids from me for two years.)   So my picture of Yeshua has him in a lotus pose, in saffron robes, flowers in a necklace, surrounded by lotus flowers, his heart open, wounded and shining, a crown of thorns on his head, a halo, a hand sign of peace, a gesture to the heart, and a look of calm sincerity.  (It came from a magazine cover, and I’ll appreciate if anyone can help me with the source – I’d like to credit it and the artist.)


I also like this portrait of him. His counsel regarding prayer: “Pray alone.” I like that. Feels most real to me.

So yesterday, I stood before my altar, hands at prayer pose, namaste, feeling very real with him, confused about who I am and how I’m doing, a racket of other voices – or my imagination of them – telling me I’m a bad shamanic practitioner and I can’t keep up any discipline.  Suddenly, I realized I didn’t have to.  Yes, I’d really believed I was strong enough to accept the shamanic initiation invitation, and I’d told myself, “Once the doors are opened, you can’t shut them” – and that’s true – but I had assumed that that meant I had to use those shamanic practices to keep my bearings in that world.  Suddenly I realized that, even though I was invited, and that means the doors have been opened, I don’t have to play by their rules, i.e., shamanism.  Yes, I’ve had many amazing, sublime shamanic experiences, but I don’t feel the need to sit in counsel with animal spirits.  I believe the animal spirits, trees spirits, insect spirits, and all the elementals and devas and intelligences of every sort in this Ocean of Spirit can come to my aid, and they will when called, but I will take my counsel in prayer with Yeshua.  And I realized all those totems were way to much visual noise.  I kept a few things to remind me of special events, but those very few are scattered now around the house.  My eagle feather hangs in a tree, where it probably likes it better.  And Yeshua is uncrowded in the center of my wall.

Oh, my Lord, I can’t tell you what an energy rush that was to remove everything!!  Once I began, it was like an avalanche:  many, many items now sit out in the sunroom awaiting separation into piles of gifts, piles of things to throw away, and things to sell.  (I’m not assuming these things are wrong for someone else, and thereby am recycling them for someone else’s life lessons.)  The clearing in here is palpable!

Last night, we talked about some things I’d thought we’d never be able to face, but we did.  We hardly slept last night,  both racked to our souls, and today we both feel clean and clear and dedicated to love and creative living.  What a relief!

At one point I sobbed, “I feel like I’ve been in a balloon, tossed around in a harrowing storm for 21 years, and I just touched ground safely.

Another image appeared of an abscess lanced, gaping open, being flushed out.  Relief.


March 9, 2016:  I still relate, for the most part, to this blog, though I don’t close the door on the possibility of returning to the practice in a new form.  Not yet.