Garden Healing Church

Grateful for Healing in Nature – for all of us mind control subjects


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Dealing with Derealization/Depersonalization

pablo amaringo Llullon Llaki SupaiTalking with my new therapist today, I learned the terms depersonalization and derealization – and wondered why and when I’d quit reading self-help books and never followed through with more of it – maybe for the same reason I refused to read books on spirituality for so much of my life:  I didn’t want others’ ideas to influence my perception of reality.

But I guess I became open to others’ opinions again recently, and so I’m seeing someone about my dissociation, and today began learning more of what the professionals think about it.  Funny, because last time I read the professional literature, I found myself critiquing many authors’ methodologies and presumptions, mainly the presumption that there are no forces outside our five senses or that can’t be discovered by inductive reasoning beginning with the limiting “laws” of physics, or rather a reduced, highly conservative version of the laws, excluding quantum physics for no rational, but purely political reasons – discrediting a larger sector of the population.  I had the same experience today – of critiquing professionals’ work – when I briefly read my first two web pages on depersonalization.

Depersonalization is defined by one author as “one of the many symptoms of a panic attack. …a combination of physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts which lead you to feel so disengaged from your surroundings that you wonder whether or not you’re actually in your body. People experiencing this symptom may fear that they’re actually someplace else, watching their body sleepwalk through life while they float around in some kind of spirit world.”

I relate to all of that, though I have fewer episodes of it today and have never experienced it for longer than a minute at a time.  I disagree with the author’s assumption, though, that this is not real; I believe our consciousness can really disengage from our bodies, so this is no delusion.

The author later writes, “However weird it feels, it has nothing to do with “losing control.”

I disagree again.  When, as a young radio journalist, I interviewed a state politician shortly after entering the field, my consciousness went floating up above me in my chair and said things like, “Wow, you’re interviewing [whomever].  I wonder if he can tell how totally flipping out of your gourd you are?  What did I ask?  What is he saying?  How can I ask a follow-up question when I can’t hear what he’s saying, though I see his mouth moving?  When he finishes, I won’t have the faintest idea what to say next.  Can he see my eyes wandering around the room?  Oh, God I can hardly breathe…,” and then I forced myself back into my body to try to finish the interview.  I think he saw something was wrong and carried the ball from there.  Believe me, when your consciousness chooses to leave your body, you do lose control.  Fortunately, I seem to have learned how to keep myself from entering that state in social situations.

The author concluded with decent advice:

“1. Acknowledge and accept the symptom. Remind yourself that it is a source of discomfort, but not danger.

2. Return your attention to the immediate environment, rather than your thoughts of other times and places. Don’t argue with your thoughts, just refocus your attention.

3. Become more actively engaged with the people, activities, and objects immediately around you. Get back into the conversation and activities that the others are involved in. I think you’ll find that the odd feelings lessen as you get more involved in your present surroundings.”

I’d only add a step 3 alternative:  If you don’t want to actively engage with other people right then, don’t.  Leave.  Say polite good-byes if you want, or just duck out, or something in between.  Respect yourself and your immediate needs.  When in a safe place, check in and ask what the panic was about; it’s possible there was a person there whom it would be better for you to avoid, or any other number of reasons, electromagnetic, or anything.  Honor and follow your instincts.  It may be an important part of your healing.  In fact, those who follow the shamanic way depend on sending their consciousness away – to learn things beyond this dimension.

It might not be such a bad thing, maybe our other-worldly wisdom calling us to turn our attention somewhere else.

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Video: Native People and Star Nations

star people video“In the summer of 1996, Native American tribal leaders and researchers from all over the world met for five days near a Yankton Sioux reservation.

“It was revealed in a dream that now was the time for the tribes to break their silence and share their hidden knowledge of the Star People.”

https://youtu.be/bqj4-DE1EIQ

rock creek houseWhen I first moved to my current small town, I’d just come out of 6 1/2 years of living as a quasi-hermit, experiencing almost daily events that matched the accounts of others who call them “shamanic” and/or “alien.”

I’d moved to the desert to be a hermit, intending to spend the remainder of my life in mystic endeavors.  I’d had NO INTENTION to have anything to do with aliens, and the word shaman wasn’t in my vocabulary.

Over the years, though, I came to realize that mysticism and shamanism share the same intentions, so when a friend used to word to explain some highly-unusual things happening to me, I privately accepted the term and all the baggage I personally felt attached to it – but privately.

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“Ayahuasca Visions” by Pablo Amaringo

I also kept private, for most of my hermit years, the events that seemed “alien” in nature, even when others told me they saw UFOs, and even when I became aware of indigenous people around the world experiencing them – the Western cultural cartoons and ridiculing taboos had such a negative effect on me.

When my poorly-managed poverty lifestyle caught up with me and I was forced to sell my land, I received enough cash to move to the small town of Silver City, New Mexico, buy a house, and treat myself to a trip to the next UFO conference that might have something to do with spirituality, and I found it.  Afterwards, I was inspired to end my silence and share what I knew.

rf-2nd-ed-front-cover-20For a few years, I did just that, and published my memoir, but I was subtly harassed at my presentations and decided to quit “for awhile.”  It’s now been years that I’ve kept my communications on this subject strictly on the web, never in my social life or anything public in town.  And even in my websites I’ve been coy and not told the whole truth of what I know.

It’s very hard to take a stand against a hostile public worldview – even though I’ve spent a lot of my life confronting wrong social attitudes, such as environmental irresponsibility, social injustice, etc.  This topic has a greater resistance than those; while they can be discussed publicly, “aliens” cannot, even in most alternative media.

So I’ve been resisting doing the work.  I’ve let myself be side-tracked by all sorts of things:  my house and studio renovations, my garden improvements, singing folk music, and promoting my partner’s music, but I’ve been getting messages from my Helpers that they’re impatient with me (in a nice way, of course), and it’s time to get back to my work, to quit shirking, to quit freaking out over these events I think of as mysterious “attacks,” because perhaps they aren’t attacks at all, but simply marks left from extra-dimensional experiences for which I have no memory, but not necessarily negative, and certainly not useful to think of in terms of “attacks.”

Unknown-2The greatest understanding of this came when I read the Introduction to Black Elk Speaks, in which he described ignoring his calling and having “demons” attack him relentlessly.  I suddenly realized that that felt like exactly what I’ve been going through.

And now another year or two has gone by in which I’ve been stalling.

I don’t know more than this, but I’m intending to be open to guidance on what to do next, to be more available, and more active, to tell more truth, to be open again publicly (yikes), and be of service to others who need someone who’s also been there.

So wish me well as I pick up this work again.  Not sure which direction I’ll go, but I’m offering myself again to be of service.

 


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Plato and the ancient Greeks

Screen Shot 2015-05-16 at 11.22.14 PMI never had much respect for the ancient Greeks – but then, history, as taught at my schools, was never my strong suit, and I’d never thought it made sense to bother learning about an ancient people who put so much stock in something my culture called “mythological,” i.e., not real.

Today, I’m reading a bit about ancient Greek culture and finding there’s a lot there of interest, which I expect I’ll write about soon.

Meantime, I came across this teaching of Plato’s, which rather “blows my mind” and delights me with its provocation of “culture.”

Terrence McKenna said it well, excerpted in this short video clip, “Culture is not your friend.”

Keep opening to new ideas, keep learning.  Expanding our consciousness may sometimes include even relearning “the classics.”


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Mind Control and Circumcision

circumcision_banana_foreskin_cuttingRegular readers know I have an extensive interest in all sorts of mind control, including the most subtle – false information – and that which leads to mass obedience.

Today GreenMedInfo.com‘s email includes an article about circumcision and the ignorance of American medicine on this subject.  I strongly recommend it.

http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/foreskin-why-it-such-secret-north-america

Circumcision is not only based on false information, but it instiutionalizes birth trauma, which is basic to mind control, causing dissociation and instilling fear from the day a boy is born – useful to a culture that wants to create passivity, obedience and violence when desired.