I’m really embarrassed to say this, but in the last five years, I’ve gone to see conventional doctors more times than I want to admit.  Of course, it’s cultural programming to do so, and maybe personal programming besides, because when I find myself in pain or a panic, I know the MD’s are free on Medicaid, while my other healers cost a fair amount and aren’t available like an Urgent Care.  So I have seen MDs quite a few times, it seems ever since a spate of really crazy stuff in 2010, including a weird incident of highway fog and amnesia, a painful bruise that seemed to come suddenly from an electronic beam, and a beam that caused vibration and followed me around the house, leaving me with ears that have rung ever since.

I was just going through my medical files, thinking it would be interesting to correlate my doctor visits with my weird experiences by entering visits and tests into my database of Anomalous Experiences of My Life (over 600 so far).

In hindsight, I always think the doctor visit was unnecessary, but there is something satisfying in thinking I might get help, but more importantly, telling at least a small part of my world, I feel terrible and am seriously frightened.  The system did once provide me a referral to a physical therapist, which was wonderful – but it’s crazy that this huge system must exist, which provides mostly dangerous drugs and surgeries and only occasionally admits – and pays for – non-intrusive healing therapies.

Coincidentally, I needed to call the state Human Services Department to ask why my card shows five charges where last year my charges were zero, especially since I’m earning less than my mortgage and don’t know how I’ll pay my mortgage after next month.

Innumerable recordings, announcements, and menus later, I was told, Yes, indeed, I have co-pays.

The joke is, I don’t even want Medicaid!  All my healing of the past 5 years has come from sitting in the sun, getting exercise, cutting down on sugar, letting myself sleep; extra-dimensional help which just seems to download healings to me, instantaneously, not always when I first need it, but eventually; or from Ayurvedic remedies; etc.

So there’s no reason to worry about any price increases.  I was only curious, and then I got to laugh.  Because, ultimately, I think it’s far better for all of us to go see AMA doctors as little as we can.  So, their ridiculous system of greed might actually be good for all of us.  (Except for those who’ve been made addicted; for them, I’m truly sorry.)  But I’m happy to recognize my own ridiculous going-along-with-the-program, so I can stop it.

Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but I told the woman that I was really only curious, and it doesn’t t make any difference to me, because I don’t intend to use conventional American medicine anymore anyway.  So I’m glad they’re being so offensive, to help me wake up and cut off this unpleasant, unjust, and unhealthy relationship.

And so I will.

The next practical step is to review the law around making this Garden Healing Church a legally valid defense against governmental attempts to control my health, so I can remain free to use my own ancient and traditional health care modes as my legal right – without interference and without their stealing my money to pay for what I don’t want.

Hold me to it, okay?

Or help me?  I sometimes have a very hard time with energy.  Today I’ve had a hard time breathing, as though fear has frozen my lungs.  I can pull air in, but it’s a lot of work.  I wonder if I’ve been subject to anything lately?

Laughter made me feel better, but I got serious with the editing again.  And working on the database constricts my lungs too, but I want to do it, so I keep on.

I’ll accept help, and I’ll accept reminders.  Thanks, You All ~

Jean