From Charles Bock’s Alice and Oliver (which I heard on NPR’s “Fresh Air” podcast interview with Bock, and stopped it immediately to transcribe this excerpt):

So, okay Goddess, the first day wasn’t so bad.  I need to keep letting go.  Maybe I just need sleep.

Here’s not so bad.  Here is where I am.  Just keep focusing on what I can do in here.  I can write.  I can meditate.  I can draw.  I can knit.  I can paint – in my limited clumsy fashion.  I know that I want to be a clear channel.

The truth is, I’m not miserable.  This little part of me nags, a dog nipping at heels, yipping, wanting me to be sad, wanting me to worry.  Remember:  you’re miserable.  Remember:  This is terrible.

But haven’t I lived with the black box on my chest for so long?  When I’m at my best, which is not often, but sometimes, I know I don’t have to live inside my fear.  I can carry its weight.

I wonder what happens if I open the ribbon to my black box and pull off the lid?  What happens if I put soil inside?  Plant seeds?  Add water, and regular light?

Look at how life has surprised me today, look at all the ways I was taken care of, all the ways I had fun.

~