From Charles Bock’s Alice and Oliver (which I heard on NPR’s “Fresh Air” podcast interview with Bock, and stopped it immediately to transcribe this excerpt):
So, okay Goddess, the first day wasn’t so bad. I need to keep letting go. Maybe I just need sleep.
Here’s not so bad. Here is where I am. Just keep focusing on what I can do in here. I can write. I can meditate. I can draw. I can knit. I can paint – in my limited clumsy fashion. I know that I want to be a clear channel.
The truth is, I’m not miserable. This little part of me nags, a dog nipping at heels, yipping, wanting me to be sad, wanting me to worry. Remember: you’re miserable. Remember: This is terrible.
But haven’t I lived with the black box on my chest for so long? When I’m at my best, which is not often, but sometimes, I know I don’t have to live inside my fear. I can carry its weight.
I wonder what happens if I open the ribbon to my black box and pull off the lid? What happens if I put soil inside? Plant seeds? Add water, and regular light?
Look at how life has surprised me today, look at all the ways I was taken care of, all the ways I had fun.