“It was revealed in a dream that now was the time for the tribes to break their silence and share their hidden knowledge of the Star People.”
When I first moved to my current small town, I’d just come out of 6 1/2 years of living as a quasi-hermit, experiencing almost daily events that matched the accounts of others who call them “shamanic” and/or “alien.”
I’d moved to the desert to be a hermit, intending to spend the remainder of my life in mystic endeavors. I’d had NO INTENTION to have anything to do with aliens, and the word shaman wasn’t in my vocabulary.
Over the years, though, I came to realize that mysticism and shamanism share the same intentions, so when a friend used to word to explain some highly-unusual things happening to me, I privately accepted the term and all the baggage I personally felt attached to it – but privately.
I also kept private, for most of my hermit years, the events that seemed “alien” in nature, even when others told me they saw UFOs, and even when I became aware of indigenous people around the world experiencing them – the Western cultural cartoons and ridiculing taboos had such a negative effect on me.
When my poorly-managed poverty lifestyle caught up with me and I was forced to sell my land, I received enough cash to move to the small town of Silver City, New Mexico, buy a house, and treat myself to a trip to the next UFO conference that might have something to do with spirituality, and I found it. Afterwards, I was inspired to end my silence and share what I knew.
For a few years, I did just that, and published my memoir, but I was subtly harassed at my presentations and decided to quit “for awhile.” It’s now been years that I’ve kept my communications on this subject strictly on the web, never in my social life or anything public in town. And even in my websites I’ve been coy and not told the whole truth of what I know.
It’s very hard to take a stand against a hostile public worldview – even though I’ve spent a lot of my life confronting wrong social attitudes, such as environmental irresponsibility, social injustice, etc. This topic has a greater resistance than those; while they can be discussed publicly, “aliens” cannot, even in most alternative media.
So I’ve been resisting doing the work. I’ve let myself be side-tracked by all sorts of things: my house and studio renovations, my garden improvements, singing folk music, and promoting my partner’s music, but I’ve been getting messages from my Helpers that they’re impatient with me (in a nice way, of course), and it’s time to get back to my work, to quit shirking, to quit freaking out over these events I think of as mysterious “attacks,” because perhaps they aren’t attacks at all, but simply marks left from extra-dimensional experiences for which I have no memory, but not necessarily negative, and certainly not useful to think of in terms of “attacks.”
The greatest understanding of this came when I read the Introduction to Black Elk Speaks, in which he described ignoring his calling and having “demons” attack him relentlessly. I suddenly realized that that felt like exactly what I’ve been going through.
And now another year or two has gone by in which I’ve been stalling.
I don’t know more than this, but I’m intending to be open to guidance on what to do next, to be more available, and more active, to tell more truth, to be open again publicly (yikes), and be of service to others who need someone who’s also been there.
So wish me well as I pick up this work again. Not sure which direction I’ll go, but I’m offering myself again to be of service.