This 53-minute video is for those who’ve had negative alien experiences. The bottom line: develop your spiritual skills and protection! Interesting world history here.
Category Archives: healing
Dealing with Derealization/Depersonalization
Talking with my new therapist today, I learned the terms depersonalization and derealization – and wondered why and when I’d quit reading self-help books and never followed through with more of it – maybe for the same reason I refused to read books on spirituality for so much of my life: I didn’t want others’ ideas to influence my perception of reality.
But I guess I became open to others’ opinions again recently, and so I’m seeing someone about my dissociation, and today began learning more of what the professionals think about it. Funny, because last time I read the professional literature, I found myself critiquing many authors’ methodologies and presumptions, mainly the presumption that there are no forces outside our five senses or that can’t be discovered by inductive reasoning beginning with the limiting “laws” of physics, or rather a reduced, highly conservative version of the laws, excluding quantum physics for no rational, but purely political reasons – discrediting a larger sector of the population. I had the same experience today – of critiquing professionals’ work – when I briefly read my first two web pages on depersonalization.
Depersonalization is defined by one author as “one of the many symptoms of a panic attack. …a combination of physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts which lead you to feel so disengaged from your surroundings that you wonder whether or not you’re actually in your body. People experiencing this symptom may fear that they’re actually someplace else, watching their body sleepwalk through life while they float around in some kind of spirit world.”
I relate to all of that, though I have fewer episodes of it today and have never experienced it for longer than a minute at a time. I disagree with the author’s assumption, though, that this is not real; I believe our consciousness can really disengage from our bodies, so this is no delusion.
The author later writes, “However weird it feels, it has nothing to do with “losing control.”
I disagree again. When, as a young radio journalist, I interviewed a state politician shortly after entering the field, my consciousness went floating up above me in my chair and said things like, “Wow, you’re interviewing [whomever]. I wonder if he can tell how totally flipping out of your gourd you are? What did I ask? What is he saying? How can I ask a follow-up question when I can’t hear what he’s saying, though I see his mouth moving? When he finishes, I won’t have the faintest idea what to say next. Can he see my eyes wandering around the room? Oh, God I can hardly breathe…,” and then I forced myself back into my body to try to finish the interview. I think he saw something was wrong and carried the ball from there. Believe me, when your consciousness chooses to leave your body, you do lose control. Fortunately, I seem to have learned how to keep myself from entering that state in social situations.
The author concluded with decent advice:
“1. Acknowledge and accept the symptom. Remind yourself that it is a source of discomfort, but not danger.
2. Return your attention to the immediate environment, rather than your thoughts of other times and places. Don’t argue with your thoughts, just refocus your attention.
3. Become more actively engaged with the people, activities, and objects immediately around you. Get back into the conversation and activities that the others are involved in. I think you’ll find that the odd feelings lessen as you get more involved in your present surroundings.”
I’d only add a step 3 alternative: If you don’t want to actively engage with other people right then, don’t. Leave. Say polite good-byes if you want, or just duck out, or something in between. Respect yourself and your immediate needs. When in a safe place, check in and ask what the panic was about; it’s possible there was a person there whom it would be better for you to avoid, or any other number of reasons, electromagnetic, or anything. Honor and follow your instincts. It may be an important part of your healing. In fact, those who follow the shamanic way depend on sending their consciousness away – to learn things beyond this dimension.
It might not be such a bad thing, maybe our other-worldly wisdom calling us to turn our attention somewhere else.
Healing vs Computer Energy
Greetings to Everyone following the Garden Healing Church (aka MK Healing Church) ~
I want to acknowledge that I have not posted on this site as I expected I would.
Instead, I’ve realized that my wounded parts (whom I’d prefer keep their writing on ParadigmSalon.net instead) are the ones who most like to write; my healthier, happier parts engaged in healing work are not that interested in sitting at the keyboard!
But that leaves me not fulfilling what Good I think I can do given my situation. I don’t want to only post about my fearful and exasperating experiences; I want to also post about healing. But when life is going well, I am not interested in sitting in front of the computer. The computer feels like something to avoid.
The result is that I have an online presence that is mostly fearful, irritated, angry, and ready to leave this life. My “garden presence,” on the other hand, is happy. But she’s completely uninterested in sitting at the keyboard – unless I tell myself for months that I must create some balance, and then I sit down as I am now and make myself write.
But now that I’m here, I don’t know what to say. Except maybe this: the computer, energetically, is not a good place to find healing. You can find information and, if you’re lucky, hints about coping and healing. But it’s not, over all, a good place to spend our lives or search for health. I’m trying to spend less and less time here.
I am also tired of trying to relate to imaginary people around the globe. I think it’s best for all of us to work, instead, to relate to the real-life people around us in our communities – which is where I hope to spend more of my time and where I hope to offer my knowledge to others – face to face.
If you know me locally, please ask me what I have to share – or specific questions. If you don’t know me locally, then I hope you will seek out healing connections in your local community. Connections with people, and with plants, and animals, and stars, and of course your cosmic Helpers.
For these few minutes I can stand to be at this keyboard, that’s the best advice I can give. Live locally.
And when you do sit down at the computer to search for help (I still do now and then), I hope you’ll find useful items here or on ParadigmSalon.net.
You can also ask for specific help too, of course, and I’ll do my best to respond. Peace.
Current Day Abuse – When Dissociative Survivors are Trapped, Owned, and Exploited as Adults
This is re-posted from Discussion Dissociation, the exact page here:
http://discussingdissociation.com/2009/02/10/current-day-abuse-%E2%80%93-when-dissociative-survivors-are-trapped-owned-and-exploited-as-adults/
Below is the blog in full, except for a video which you can view on Kathy’s site, at the link above.
Dissociative Identity Disorder is created from severe, chronic child abuse, but does that abuse automatically stop in childhood?
Unfortunately, no, it does not.
All too many survivors continue to be trapped in abusive environments long after their childhood has ended. Sometimes this abuse continues with the same family-related perpetrators that abused the survivor all throughout the childhood years. For example, far too many adult children of creepy-fathers are still being sexually abused into adulthood.
Creepy-fathers don’t necessarily stop being sex offenders just because their children get older. These lifelong predators already know how to manipulate your dissociative system, and they will continue to “call out” and dominate the child parts that they controlled for all the years previous. The child parts don’t necessarily realize that they are in an adult body, or that years of time have passed, so it still feels like more of the same to them.
Typically, in situations such as these, the dissociative walls that separate those abused child parts and the adult host can still be locked solidly in place, allowing no seepage of information to pass through. The adult DID survivor may not have any conscious awareness that they are still being abused in this way.
Scary.
And sad.
But true, far too often.
Sometimes, the ongoing abuse is more organized than in-home family abuse. The sex slave industries can use, own, control, sell, and exploit dissociative survivors for many years.
Slavery didn’t end with the Civil War – it just became more hidden.
One of the current ways that slavery still exists — even in 2009 — is through the entrapment of the dissociative population. Various prostitution / pornography organizations can “own” and exploit survivors by using physical violence, emotional blackmail, drugs, mind control techniques, and dissociation as means to maintain their power and control. Extricating these dissociative prisoners from these organized predators is a complicated and complex process, but possible nonetheless.
Adult trauma survivors with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) have had years upon years of experience managing severe trauma while simultaneously blocking themselves off from the reality of that trauma. Dissociative walls can provide an element of amnesia that both protects the person from the overwhelming crushing awareness of ongoing abuse, but also traps the survivor in an ongoing continuation of that abuse.
If dissociative survivors have current-day chunks of missing time blocked from their awareness, they cannot know what happened to them, but they also cannot remove themselves or protect themselves from the ongoing trauma and abuse. Without effective therapy and treatment, they also cannot remember or control the fact that they could be handing over their children to be used in the same abusive ways by the very same perpetrator groups.
Unfortunately, we all know that the kiddie porn industry is alive and well.
Dissociative survivors that grew up being used and sold within the kiddie porn industry are at a higher risk of continuing to be owned by, and forced to work for that industry even as adults.
When DID survivors are involved in current day abuse, it is imperative to break down the amnesiac walls created through dissociative processes. The survivors have to have the courage to look at what they are involved with, and then have even more courage to problem-solve their way out.
Dissociative survivors trapped in other kinds of family violence and domestic violence are vulnerable in these same ways.
Trauma therapists must be aware of these possibilities so they can actively work with the dissociative population in order to assist them to gain freedom from ongoing abuse. Therapy with a strong emphasis on increasing internal communication and lowering amnesiac barriers is essential.
Therapists need to use basic good trauma therapy while doing this work. Listen closely to the inside parts, help sooth the pain, create both internal and external safety, reconnect the isolated parts with the rest of the system, address the concerns raised by those internal parts in all the normal ways, etc. Many of the very same processes that work to help heal “regular abuse” continue to be effective in addressing more extreme abuses.
*** To all dissociative survivors —
You don’t have to stay stuck in the abuse cycles. If you
are able to read this post, you are able to do the work it takes to remove yourself from any ongoing abuse that you are tangled in. Of course, your perpetrators won’t tell you that you can get out, but you can get out and away from them anyway. You are older, wiser, and stronger than you were when you were just a child. You can find ways that will work for you, you can find safe people to help you, and you can be safe. Talk lots and lots to your inside people – it’s only as you work together as a team that you can beat the external controls. It takes a lot of hard work, but if you all really want to be free from abuse and safe from harm, you can be. It can happen.
Warmly,
Kathy
Multidimensional Wounding AND Healing
I have to confess I’ve been downplaying part of my story.
I’ve been neglecting to share (or minimize sharing) the fact that my strange experiences – that often seem related to mind control and sometimes to “alien” weirdness – are sometimes accompanied by events that seem to be spiritual healings.
This is HUGE. And I want to explain – if only to myself – why I’ve minimized this fact.
I’ve been hesitant to claim them publicly because, in the context of mind control, it’s confusing to me, because mind control, as I understand it, is done by humans for dark purposes, while healings seem spiritual and positive – and they often seem to be related.
The healings, outside this context, always felt like they might be construed by others as “spiritual bragging,” i.e., I’m so special or so spiritually in tune that spiritual beings granted me this miracle – even when I hadn’t asked!
Uncertain how to overcome these hurdles in my head, I waited, thinking I’d eventually understand, and now years have gone by, and I apologize for minimizing this aspect of my story.
Here are some of the experiences (many described in my book RattleSnake Fire, published in 2008):
Usually in the evenings, and usually while alone, but not always, I sometimes get a sudden and powerful sensation of energy that seems to pour into me from my head or neck and flow, over the course of maybe 10-30 seconds, down throughout my body. The sensations feel wonderful, and I’ve described them in various ways – sometimes as healing or clearing, sometimes filling me up and making me feel my cells are enlarging, to such an extent that it seems my vertebrae are spreading apart, lengthening my spine, so that I need to adjust my body to “allow room” for a bigger, taller me!
Sometimes I’ve called the energy “the Hulk routine,” because it’s so powerful. (Remember the Hulk got his power in order to whoop bad guys.) Indeed, the power has often been so great that I could not resist moving with it, bending forward to make room for the energy flow down my back, my arm and leg muscles also moving with the force. When someone else was around, if they knew what I was going through, I’d often sheepishly, jokingly indicate what was happening near the end of the process (maybe 30 seconds long) by miming a muscle-man pose – because I couldn’t speak while this was happening.
Sometimes I’ve been frightened by it, as when a friend suggested it might be “a possession.”
Other times, these have been so clearly healing. Once, while visiting some friends and feeling weirdly energetically distressed, I went alone into the dining room, sat down, and first felt a procession of teenager selves lift off of me and up into another dimension; after looking down and seeing the energetic form of my legs which seemed to be hollow from the knees down, suddenly golden energy poured through me like a golden cascade flowing down into my feet and legs. I was fascinated because a decade earlier a Rolfer had told me he could see no aura beneath my knees and had begun his work there and continued to work all year to bring energy into them and never told me he succeeded. I theorized that I must have lost that grounding during the trauma of my teen years, and now the trauma had been finally released (odd place and time, but I accepted!) and the space filled.
These inpourings of energy have been so frequent that I couldn’t begin to count them without going through at least twelve years of journals.
After my most recent, probably third, heart attack last month, I had two such healing events. One happened, incongruously – proving that this comes from an outside source, not my own doing or imagination – while watching a video with a friend. Of course, I was surprised at the timing, but grateful, and didn’t even mention it to my friend. That night, while lying in bed, drifting off to sleep, I was awakened by the healing energies again. They were “the usual”: wonderful, expansive, clearing, and healing. The next day, after 12 days of extreme weakness, I woke feeling very well, and my 12-day long crisis was passed.
The meaning of this? I think I know, but don’t want to say.
You, Readers, formulate your own theories. Don’t get stuck as I have been too long, thinking the horrors are only horrors. There could be something else at work.
I’ll talk about this more later.
Blessings on you and on us all.
Healing/Deprogramming with the new I Ching
I could not have been more surprised.
I’ve investigated every sort of information I thought would help me either make sense of the strange and sometimes horrifying (apparently trans-dimensional) experiences I’ve had – or help me stop them or appropriately deal with them. I’ve read about religion and spiritual/demonic attack, mind control and criminal hypnosis, and the psychology of fear and obsession (in case I could be creating or triggering this by the power of my mind, as some people believe and imply).
I’ve practiced prayer, shamanism, reading Tarot, other divination methods, ignoring it, positive thinking, and more, and continued to sometimes* feel like a babe in the woods, still subject to waking with bruises, scoop marks, burns, and other scars, including sometimes apparently surgical scars and third-degree burns (very hard to imagine I was creating this myself!) – with amnesia for the cause of these injuries and deep-gut anxiety and disabling dread – since 2002, when (coincidentally?) I did work that offended the FBI.
That’s a pretty good-sized burn to have happened without me remembering it.
(*I said sometimes because, thankfully, these events have not been happening in these recent 8 months since I cleared my home of excess “spiritual paraphernalia” [a clue?] and called again on Christ; since then, I’m happy to say, I’ve been mostly free of weird experiences – though I found an unexplained burn on the back of my neck on June 30.)
While I’ve usually interpreted my ongoing experiences as the result of mind control and/or spiritual attack (yes, could be both at once), I’ve never said for certain that any particular theory was sufficient – because I don’t believe we currently have the worldview and language to sufficiently describe the multi-dimensional nature of these intrusions into the human experience, as least as we’re perceiving it now.
And even though I’ve been mostly injury-free for eight months, I still suffer from memory problems much like a multiple personality, but not nearly so bad as how it’s typically perceived and presented in media. Nevertheless, I want to heal myself of whatever has been going on.
The BEST place to buy used books: Addall.com, where you can often pay a few cents more and not have to buy from the amazon Amazon.
So imagine my surprise to be loaned I Ching: The Oracle of the Cosmic Way, by Carol K. Anthony and Hanna Moog – and to discover it talks extensively about “spells” and deprogramming!!!
I was so impressed by it, I bought another book by the same women: Heal Yourself the Cosmic Way: Based on the I Ching. It’s a handbook for healing programming!
I’ve seen a lot of self-help books, and this is the only one I’ve ever found that talks specifically about deprogramming, in a spiritual sense!
I’ll let you know how it goes. Meanwhile, perhaps some of you will purchase (Addall.com link) one or both books yourself, and let me know what you think!
Peace and Healing to you all ~
I’ll share more later ~
Jean
(PS: Again, the BEST place to buy used books is Addall.com, where you can often pay only a few cents more and not have to buy from the amazon Amazon. And you can see the prices of small and large booksellers all over the world – on one site! Tell your friends how to boycott the amazon.
(Why? Because small booksellers are the ones who support small-niche authors and provide us information on topics that the mainstream corporatists don’t want us to have. Thanks for supporting independent authors and small publishers, by keeping the small publishers and small distributors in business.)
Ahhhhh…. The Healing Power of a Hot Spring….
On the way home from a soak in the Gila (Wilderness) Hot Springs on Monday, we pulled off the highway and up to the top of Cienega Ridge, where we enjoyed a 360-degree view of the wilderness. The view, weather, and setting were as perfect as two people could ask for.
We were, as expected, wonderfully relaxed and sat there longer than we’d imagined we might.
The next day, the sometimes to-be-expected de-tox kicked in. I’d been suffering from an out-of-joint sacro-iliac for a few weeks, compounded by a bad chiropractic treatment (bad in more ways than one) which had made me hurt so badly that the next chiropractor didn’t want to do much until he’d seen x-rays – I was in that bad a shape after the first “doctor.” I’d followed through and had gotten the x-rays, which only showed what I’ve known for a few years – and had told the first doctor, which he scoffed at: bone spurs, flattened disks, and more – though no one has compared the two sets of x-rays yet – that no serious damage was done by the first jerk – er, doctor.
Thankfully, the second, good doctor (Dr. Rios, at HMS, for local readers) was cautious and careful, got me back into a stable place once again, and the hot springs brought me back almost to normal – but I still had to de-tox.
Detox is a natural bodily process to release toxins, which we can encourage by taking in certain foods, herbs, and fluids, maybe using clay internally or externally, exercise, and soaking in pure, warm, relaxing water, among other methods.
Generally, it’s thought of as a release of material toxins, but I seem to have also needed to release toxic emotions as well – from my encounter with that violent and egocentric doctor who dismissed my concerns about my spine – and violently, repeatedly crushed me, worse than any chiropractor I’ve ever had – and I’ve had a few since a minor automobile accident over 20 years ago. (More about the doctor in a moment.)
And I believe I did release those emotions. Yesterday, I felt like hell. I had no energy. I felt like crying. And I was angry, appropriately, I believe.
I’d already called the first chiropractor’s office and left him a message, which he ignored. And I’d called the New Mexico Attorney General’s Office, and was waiting for their help with whom to report this misguided man to. While waiting, I decided to also report him to the Sexual Assault Support Services (yes, that was part of the “more ways than one” bad-ness) and the Silver City Police, both of which I did.
The licensing board for NM chiropractors has received my initial call, and so my detox is nearly complete.
So keep doing your work! It might not always be easy. But there are also those days when we soak in the spring, see tiny new frogs
making their first forays into life, and sit on the mountaintop, breathing pure air, watching clouds, and hawks and beautiful blue beetles.
GMO versus Organic
Wild animals know what’s good for them.
We’ve been trained to eat what makes us sick.
Time to break our programming.
Garden Healing Church 